The holiday season is often associated with good food, family time, and, unfortunately for some, an abundance of alcohol. Particularly in large cities like New York City, where few people drive cars, the expectation to overindulge can be commonplace. For those who have chosen a path of moderation or abstinence from alcohol, the holidays can present unique challenges and increased exposure to triggers, increasing anxiety for many. In this blog, we will explore strategies for both alcohol moderation and abstinence, while also delving into the concept of "California sober." Additionally, we will provide valuable resources for individuals seeking support in alcohol and drug rehabilitation.
Alcohol Moderation vs. Abstinence
Before diving into strategies, it's important to understand the distinction between alcohol moderation and abstinence. Alcohol moderation involves consciously limiting and controlling one's alcohol intake. This may include setting specific limits, choosing lower-alcohol beverages, and being mindful of drinking patterns. On the other hand, abstinence means refraining from alcohol entirely. Individuals choosing abstinence typically have personal, health, or addiction-related reasons for steering clear of alcohol. Many people who experience anxiety find that alcohol may feel like a crutch in the moment but can exacerbate their symptoms later when they replay their actions and second-guess their decisions.
Strategies for Alcohol Moderation
Set Clear Limits: Define specific limits for yourself before attending social events. Decide on a maximum number of drinks or a specific timeframe for consuming alcohol. This way, you’re not making a decision in the moment, but adhering to a predetermined limit without having to think twice about it.
Alternate with Non-Alcoholic Beverages: For every alcoholic drink, have a non-alcoholic alternative. This not only slows down your alcohol consumption but also keeps you hydrated. If you want to avoid questions from others, you might ask for sparkling water with a lime to make it seem as though you are drinking alcohol
Know Your Triggers: Identify situations or emotions that may trigger excessive drinking. Having this awareness allows you to navigate these triggers more effectively. If you know that Thanksgiving always means questions about your career or love life that make you feel anxious, you may want to limit your alcohol consumption so that you don’t react poorly.
Communicate with Others: Inform friends and family about your decision to moderate alcohol. Having a support system can make it easier to stick to your limits. You may find that someone else wants to limit their consumption as well but hasn’t known how to start, and you can be accountability partners for each other.
Strategies for Abstinence
Create a Sober Support Network: Surround yourself with friends and family who understand and support your decision to abstain from alcohol.
Bring a Non-Alcoholic Beverage: If you’re heading to a holiday party or family gathering, bring something you know you’ll want to drink, just in case the hosts didn’t plan ahead, or don’t know about your sobriety. Some people avoid anything resembling alcohol, while others enjoy non-alcoholic beer or wine to partake in the experience without consuming alcohol. There are many non-alcoholic brands out there that you can find at both grocery stores, and increasingly, bars and restaurants.
Engage in Alternative Activities: Plan activities that don't involve alcohol at all, such as games, sports, or cultural events, to keep your mind occupied and focused on positive experiences. This reduces the likelihood of anxiety since you won’t be making a decision about whether or not to drink, since it’s pretty hard to drink while hanging from aerial silks or standing near priceless works of art.
Practice Mindfulness: Stay present in the moment and be mindful of your feelings. Mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing or meditation, can help you cope with cravings and reduce anxious thoughts.
Offer to be the Designated Driver: If you are in an area where you will need to drive to festivities, offer to be the sober driver. Everyone will appreciate the offer and this also allows you to control not having to get into a car with someone else who has been drinking.
California Sober: A Nuanced Approach
The term "California sober" has gained popularity in recent years, referring to a form of sobriety that allows for the occasional use of cannabis or psychedelics. It's essential to recognize that this approach may not be suitable for everyone and should be approached with caution. If considering this path, it's crucial to be honest with your doctor and therapist, set clear boundaries, and monitor its impact on your overall well-being.
Rehabilitation and Sobriety/Abstinence Support Resources
For those seeking additional support in their journey towards sobriety, various resources are available:
Alcoholics Anonymous (AA): A time-tested organization offering support through a 12-step program. Meetings can be found globally, providing a sense of community for those in recovery. AA is a free program, and hosts annual sober holidays events available for those who want to celebrate the holidays but avoid the booze. You can find local AA meetings here: https://www.aa.org/
Inpatient, Outpatient Rehabilitation, and 12 Step Programs: Depending on the severity of dependence on alcohol, or desire to moderate, individuals may opt for inpatient or outpatient rehabilitation programs. These programs offer structured support and therapy sessions. Many different programs exist to support both the maintenance of moderation and abstinence. Some NYC based programs include:
Type: Outpatient
Focus: Specializes in helping young people and their families address substance abuse and co-occurring disorders.
Type: Inpatient and Outpatient
Focus: Offers a range of services, including detoxification, residential treatment, outpatient programs, and sober living facilities.
Type: Inpatient and Outpatient
Focus: Provides a continuum of care, including residential treatment, outpatient services, and community-based programs.
Type: Outpatient
Focus: Offers a comprehensive approach to addiction treatment, including outpatient detoxification, counseling, and medication-assisted treatment.
Type: Outpatient
Focus: Known for its evidence-based treatment programs, including counseling, therapy, and support groups.
Type: Outpatient
Focus: Offers a range of services, including counseling, support groups, and holistic therapies to address substance abuse.
Type: Meetings
Focus: A science-based alternative to traditional 12-step programs, providing support for individuals seeking help with any addiction.
Type: Meetings and Online Support
Focus: A non-abstinence-based program that aims to help individuals moderate their alcohol consumption through support groups and online resources.
Type: Meetings
Focus: A well-known 12-step program for individuals seeking support for alcohol addiction. AA meetings are widely available throughout NYC.
Type: Meetings
Focus: Similar to AA, NA provides support for individuals recovering from drug addiction. Meetings are accessible throughout the city.
Counseling and Therapy: Professional therapists and counselors specializing in addiction can provide individualized support and coping strategies. You can check out our therapists to connect with someone who can help you this holiday season.
Supporting a Sober Loved One During the Holiday Season
If you have friends or family members who have chosen a path of moderation or abstinence from alcohol, your support can make all the difference. Here are a few ways you can support your sober loved ones during the festive season.
Open Communication:
Encourage open and honest communication about your family member's decision to abstain or moderate alcohol. Create a space where they feel comfortable discussing their boundaries and concerns. Ask them nonjudgmental questions like, “Is there anything I can do to make things easier for you?” or “What’s your favorite non-alcoholic beverage that you’ve tried so far?”
Respect Their Choices:
Respect is key. If your friend or family member has chosen abstinence or moderation, support their decision without judgment. Avoid pressuring them to have "just one drink" and instead celebrate their commitment to a healthier lifestyle. Their choices have nothing to do with you, so if you feel comfortable in your drinking, you don’t need them to join you in order for you to have a good time.
Plan Alcohol-Free Activities:
Suggest and plan activities that don't revolve around alcohol. Whether it's a movie night, a game marathon, or exploring holiday light displays, non-alcoholic events can be just as enjoyable and inclusive.
Provide Non-Alcoholic Options:
When hosting gatherings, ensure there are plenty of non-alcoholic beverage options available. Having a variety of enticing drinks reduces the focus on alcohol and ensures everyone can participate in toasting and celebrating.
Be Mindful of Triggers:
If your family member has identified specific triggers, be mindful of these and try to create an environment that minimizes potential challenges. This may include avoiding certain topics or situations.
Offer Supportive Words:
Share words of encouragement and express your pride in their commitment to a sober lifestyle. Your support can be a powerful motivator during times when they might feel tempted.
Educate Others:
If you're gathering with extended family or friends, help educate them about your loved one's choice to be sober. This can prevent unintentional pressure or uncomfortable situations.
The holiday season doesn't have to be a source of anxiety for those on a journey of moderation or abstinence. By implementing these strategies and considering the nuances of spending time around a mix of sober and non-sober individuals, you and your family can navigate social situations with confidence. Remember, seeking support from friends, family, and rehabilitation resources is a sign of strength and a crucial step towards a healthier lifestyle overall.
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