How to Cope with Different Types of Stress in 2021
The most common stressor showing up in therapy sessions in 2021 is clients anticipating lack of self-confidence in social settings. For many, the anxiety of social gatherings is projected to their outer appearance, how they’ll look and feel in their clothes. Weight fluctuations and changes to body compositions affected most people during the pandemic. Fitness centers closed, workout routines were modified if followed at all, people engaged in less daily movement while working from home and eliminating the commute, the kitchen and snacks were more easily accessible, cooking and baking projects became social media challenges, and some turned to food for entertainment.
Many clients are expressing feelings of self consciousness, embarrassment, shame, and guilt regarding their weight gain and changes to their outer appearance. Clients are stating they feel uncomfortable in their clothes, uncomfortable with their body shape and size, and fear for what others might say about their weight gain.
To help clients process these uncomfortable feelings we start by evaluating their inner monologue, that critical voice inside their head. We separate their thoughts from their feelings and take a closer look. We start from a place of compassion. Our bodies are designed to do so much more than look cute in jeans. During a deadly pandemic, our bodies kept us alive and well. These same bodies will now accompany us to dinner with family, dance in nightclubs, and party with friends. Clients learn to hold feelings simultaneously, that we can be dissatisfied with our appearance while also grateful for our body’s capabilities. Showing your body compassion reduces the energy driven in shame.
We also evaluate how we’re using comparison. Many clients come to session comparing their body today to their body pre-pandemic, longing to return to their previous size or shape. We take a closer look at their life then and compare it to life now. Clients are identifying physical, mental, and emotional stressors to be completely different at these two points in their lives. Clients learn to understand their body is reacting to a catalyst not in their control and learn to understand why the results of body ‘A’ and body ‘B’ look different. Leaning into comparison and using this as a healthy tool is supportive for behavior change because it acknowledges the impact of other stressors and is less self-defeating.
When a client wants to take action we work together to identify goals and create a realistic plan. Attainable goals are achieved through healthy habits. So we start by identifying something someone can do (or not do) every day. It takes time and repetition to make or break a habit, so identifying an appropriate time span is key. Many gimmicks on the market guarantee a quick fix with minimal effort. Clients learn to understand an appropriate time frame for their goal. Clients also identify mini-milestones to celebrate along the way to keep confidence and excitement elevated.
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