LILY OSTLER, LICENSED CLINICAL SOCIAL WORKER

Are you experiencing challenges in your relationships, sexuality, or mental health? Perhaps you're a couple navigating the early stages of your relationship or significant milestones like moving in together? Are you an individual in your late 20s facing life transitions and uncertainty about your path forward? Whether you're an adolescent or adult individual, part of a couple, or within a polycule navigating interpersonal complexities, I am here to work collaboratively with you to build the life that you want.

My goal is to approach our work together with genuine curiosity, compassion, and a touch of humor. As a queer woman and therapist with specialized training in sex and couples therapy, I create a space where all identities and relationship structures are welcomed and deeply understood.

While my background in sex therapy informs my practice, I offer support across many dimensions of life. Whether you're exploring your identity, seeking to enhance your relationship with yourself or others, processing conflict, navigating mental health challenges, or facing life transitions and stressors—I provide a judgment-free environment where growth and healing can flourish.

My diverse training equips me with unique insights and perspectives that allow me to meet you wherever you are on your journey, creating a comfortable space where authenticity is celebrated and personal evolution is supported.

Lily is in network with all major insurance plans. Check here to see if yours is one of them!

lily’s APPROACH:

I utilize a trauma-informed, anti-oppressive, and eclectic approach to collaboratively build a healing space for all of my clients. My therapeutic style is casual and honest, with the hope of engaging everyone I work with in open, supportive, and challenging conversations.

In my work with individuals, couples, and polycules, I tailor my approach to each unique individual and system to support you in understanding how past experiences, shame, and mental health are impacting your interpersonal relationships and quality of life. Whether you're navigating the excitement and challenges of a new relationship, exploring intimacy concerns, or questioning your career direction, these experiences often share common themes of identity formation, boundary-setting, and managing uncertainty.

Together, we will use your unique perspective and experiences to support you in:

  • Answering questions about yourself and your life during periods of transition

  • Finding self-acceptance and self-worth in both personal and professional contexts

  • Exploring relationship dynamics during significant milestones like moving in together

  • Developing long-term coping strategies through shared empathy, kindness, and some humor

  • Understanding the impact of trauma on your relationships, sexuality, and life decisions

  • Defining your boundaries and values across relationships and work environments

  • Building self-esteem and confidence during times of uncertainty

  • Addressing sexual concerns and enhancing intimate connections

  • Navigating complex relationship dynamics in early-stage partnerships

  • Making meaningful career choices that align with your authentic self

I draw from a variety of therapeutic modalities including:

  • Attachment-based therapy

  • Narrative therapy

  • Mindfulness practices

  • Dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT)

  • Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)

  • Emotionally focused therapy (EFT)

Therapy can be a supportive space to better understand yourself, explore questions, build self-esteem and self-worth, and learn to define your boundaries and values. At the core of my practice is the recognition that whether you're navigating relationship milestones, exploring your sexuality, or questioning your career path, you're ultimately seeking to align your external life with your internal sense of self and values.

As a specialized therapist, I work with:

  • Couples in early relationship stages navigating commitment and milestones

  • Individuals and couples seeking sex therapy and intimacy enhancement

  • Adults in their late 20s experiencing career transitions and life direction uncertainty

  • Adolescents and adults navigating identity questions

  • Young adults struggling with relationships of all kinds: relationship to their self, to their families, their friends, their employers, and their romantic and sexual partners

  • Individuals exploring sexuality and gender

  • Polycules and those in non-monogamous relationship structures

  • People experiencing anxiety, depression, and trauma responses

  • Clients working through sexual challenges and concerns

  • Members of the kink, BDSM, or sex work communities 

The common thread in my work is supporting people during periods of transition, uncertainty, and growth—whether that's in relationships, sexuality, career, or personal identity. The late 20s, early relationship stages, and sexual exploration all represent critical moments of self-definition and connection that benefit from therapeutic support.

Mental Health Training, Credentials, and Experience:

  • Certified Sex Therapist⏐Modern Sex Therapy Institute⏐AASECT Accredited⏐January 2024-Present 

  • Silver School of Social Work, New York University⏐Master of Social Work⏐2021

  • Northwestern University⏐Bachelor of Science⏐School of Education and Social Policy⏐Concentration in Human Development and Psychological Services, Minor in Psychology⏐2019

  • New York State Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) #099132

  • NPI #1548875065

  1. Selected Trainings

    • “Pure O” OCD Subtypes: How to Identify & Treat Them

    • Racial, Ethnic, & Cultural Healing: Cognitive Behavioral Assessment & Treatment Approaches for Racism-Related Stress

    • Socratic Dialogue: Improving Therapy Outcomes

    • Introduction to Dialectical Behavioral Therapy

    • Exploring Gender Identity and Human Sexuality for Youth Workers

    • Treating Sexual Dysfunction Using the 4-D Wheel Model and Other Techniques

  2. Trainings and Publications

Creating a life that aligns with your authentic self—whether in new relationships, sexuality, career transitions, or personal growth—can sometimes feel overwhelming, but it doesn't have to be that way. Together, we can explore and build the understanding, skills, and confidence you need to thrive during these important life transitions.

Schedule a complimentary consultation call today to start your journey.

Book now so that we can start our work together.