New York City Psychotherapy Collective

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Work Barbie: How the Ideal of "Having it All" Impacts Women's Mental Health and Ways to Combat It

In the pursuit of equality and empowerment, women have been encouraged to embrace the idea of "having it all:" a successfully balanced career, family, and personal life, without compromising any aspect. This concept, often symbolized by the iconic "Work Barbie," and highlighted in the recent Barbie movie, has been ingrained in societal expectations, portraying women as effortlessly managing multiple roles with impeccable grace, ease, and style. However, behind this façade lies a reality that can significantly impact women's mental health.

The pressure to excel in every domain of life can take a toll on women, leading to stress, burnout, and feelings of inadequacy. As America Ferrera so eloquently describes in her Barbie monologue, despite progress in gender equality, women continue to face unique challenges in the workplace, including gender discrimination, unequal pay, and limited opportunities for career advancement. Add to this the expectations of fulfilling traditional gender roles as caregivers and homemakers, and it becomes clear why the pursuit of "having it all" can be overwhelming.

The Work Barbie archetype perpetuates unrealistic standards and fosters a culture of comparison and self-doubt among women. Social media exacerbates this phenomenon, with curated images of perfection bombarding feeds, further fueling feelings of inadequacy. The pressure to conform to these ideals can lead to anxiety, depression, and a sense of failure when expectations aren't met.

So, with all of that said, how can women combat the detrimental effects of the "having it all" mindset on their mental health? Here are a few ideas:

  • Reframe Expectations: Recognize that "having it all" is a myth. Instead of striving for perfection in every aspect of life, focus on setting realistic goals and priorities that align with your values and aspirations.

  • Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself and acknowledge that it's okay to ask for help and make mistakes. Embrace imperfection as a part of the human experience and treat yourself with the same compassion you would offer to others.

  • Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries between work and personal life to prevent burnout. Learn to say no to unrealistic demands and prioritize activities that nourish your well-being. Take email off your phone for the weekend or block Monday mornings and Friday afternoons on your public work calendar so that no one can interrupt.

  • Seek Support: Build a strong support network of friends, family, and mentors who can offer encouragement, guidance, and perspective during challenging times. Join a kickball league, volunteer, or find a book club to meet people you might never have otherwise. 

  • Practice Mindfulness: Incorporate mindfulness and self-care practices into your daily routine to reduce stress and cultivate a sense of inner peace. Whether it's meditation, yoga, or simply taking a moment to breathe deeply, prioritize activities that promote mental and emotional well-being.

  • Celebrate Achievements: Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. Keep a folder on your desktop or on your phone of every nice thing someone says about you, either at work or in your personal life. Cultivate a sense of gratitude for the progress you've made and the obstacles you've overcome on your journey.

  • Seek professional help in the form of a therapist. Just because you are a human who has emotions does not mean that you know how to be an expert at managing them. We have many clinicians who specialize in this type of thing!

The pursuit of "having it all" can have detrimental effects on women's mental health, perpetuating unrealistic standards and fostering feelings of inadequacy. By reframing expectations, practicing self-compassion, setting boundaries, seeking support, challenging societal norms, practicing mindfulness, and celebrating achievements, women can combat these effects and cultivate a more balanced and fulfilling life. Remember, you are more than just a Work Barbie – you are a multifaceted individual deserving of love, respect, and acceptance.

If this is resonating with you and you are looking for ways to break free from unfair expectations, therapy can be an impactful way to engage with this and other techniques of anxiety management. The therapists at our practice aim to help you explore all different tools and find the one that works best for you. Reach out today to connect with our team and we can match you with the therapist who is right for you!

Follow the steps below to get started:

  • Click here to share some information about you so that we can match you with the perfect therapist for your needs.

  • Have a low-pressure, 20-minute call with your therapist to make sure they are the right fit.

  • Schedule your first session and start on your journey to feeling better right away.

We offer specialized services for related issues like Anxiety, Depression, LGBTQ Affirming Therapy, and Therapy Specifically for Young Adults. We can help you feel less overwhelmed, more relaxed, and more like the self you want to be.

Contact us here to get started today!