Making Friends with Your Anxiety
For many of us, anxiety is the gremlin that follows us around in the shadows, always ready to flare up and accost us when we’re at our most vulnerable. You might know the pattern: you’re already worrying about the presentation, the meet-up, or the family event, when suddenly a switch is tripped, your nervous system kicks into overdrive, and your rational thoughts are hijacked by fear and dread.
Therapy can provide a multitude of approaches to tackle anxiety, drawing from various disciplines. Some you may have heard of, such as progressive muscle relaxation, mindfulness meditation, exposure therapies, cognitive-behavioral techniques, and assertiveness skills. With such a diverse array of options, there's likely an evidenced-based approach suited to every personality. However, it's worth considering adding one more technique to your toolkit: befriending your anxiety.
What Does it Mean to Befriend Your Anxiety?
Befriending anxiety might sound counterintuitive at first. After all, our instinctual response to anxiety is often to flee from it, to shut it out, or to suppress it. But what if we approached anxiety with curiosity rather than fear? What if we dared to engage in a dialogue with it, to understand its origins, its purpose, and its inner workings?
How to Befriend Your Anxiety
One powerful method for befriending anxiety is through Jungian Active Imagination Dialogue. This therapeutic technique, rooted in the principles of Psychoanalyst Carl Jung, invites us to envision a conversation with our anxiety as if it were a separate entity—a friend, perhaps—joining us for coffee or a chat in a comfortable setting.
Imagine sitting down in a cozy café, across from your anxiety. In this dialogue you are the interviewer and your anxiety is the imaginary interviewee. What would you say to it? What questions would you ask? Would you inquire about its origins, its intentions, or its deepest fears? Would you seek to understand its role in your life, its patterns, and its triggers?
If it’s your first time engaging with the idea of befriending your anxiety, it might be impactful to use a journal and write out your interactions with your anxiety.
Some journal prompts you might consider answering are:
Allow your anxiety to answer the following questions:
What are you trying to protect me from?
Where did you come from?
How can I help you?
Write out the dialogue: as the dialogue unfolds in your mind, consider writing it down. You might find it helpful to record the conversation in a journal, on your phone, or in a document.
Tips for Your Conversation with Your Anxiety:
Ask Questions: Pose questions to your anxiety, such as where it came from, what purpose it serves in your life, or why it manifests in certain situations. Allow yourself to be curious and open-minded.
Avoid Judgment: Refrain from analyzing or judging the responses. Instead, adopt a stance of curiosity and acceptance. Remember, the goal is not to criticize or condemn your anxiety but to understand it.
Repeat and Expand: Practice this exercise regularly, allowing gentle repetition and expansion to facilitate integration of your anxiety into your life. Over time, you may find that your relationship with anxiety evolves, becoming less fraught with fear and more grounded in acceptance.
This technique can yield profound insights into the nature of our anxiety and its impact on our lives. By engaging in a dialogue with our anxiety, we can begin to unravel its mysteries, to uncover its hidden depths, and to forge a path toward greater understanding and acceptance.
While this approach is just one of many strategies for managing anxiety, it's particularly effective for those who are curious to explore the roots of their anxiety and learn to coexist with it peacefully instead of just trying to shut it out. Investing a modest amount of time in this practice could yield significant benefits in navigating anxiety throughout your lifetime.
If you want to give this technique a try, but are struggling to work through it, therapy can be an impactful way to engage with this and other techniques of anxiety management. The therapists at our practice aim to help you explore all different tools and find the one that works best for you. Reach out today to connect with our team and we can match you with the therapist who is right for you!
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