You may read the title above and think this article isn't for you because you haven't experienced trauma in your life, but we encourage you to keep reading. Some of our clients show up seeking help for trauma they've experienced, but many more show up to therapy for help with things like anxiety, depression, work-life balance, or managing relationships. Through our work together, we uncover they've experienced trauma that plays into their experiences and the perception they have of themselves and the world. As a result, they feel validated as they gain awareness and understanding of how these experiences truly impact them on a daily basis.

So even if you don't think you've experienced trauma in your life, it could be playing a role in the struggles and obstacles you're facing. Finding and processing through this trauma can allow you to make progress in other areas of life.

Have I experienced trauma?

We wish we could tell you that you have or haven't experienced trauma through an online article, but it's not that simple.

It's important to note that not all trauma looks the same. Unfortunately, we tend to generalize and limit the idea of trauma to things like fighting in a war or living through a natural disaster. These limiting beliefs create an obstacle for us in overcoming the impact that traumatic situations have on our lives. If we don't believe we've experienced trauma, we don't know to get help for it, so let's break down some of the walls.

Big T "Trauma" vs. little t "trauma"

It's important to note that there are different types of trauma broken into categories: big T "Trauma" and little t "trauma."

Most people are familiar with the idea of big T events. These include situations such as war, violent crimes, natural disasters, serious injury, or the death of a loved one. These are the situations where we know we have experienced something traumatic without a doubt. Big T events are the ones we tend to find covered in the media.

Little t events can vary from person to person. They are events we experience on a personal level that can impact each of us differently. These can include things like the loss of a pet, the end of a relationship, loss of a job, or financial struggle. Little t events don't threaten our lives, but they can still cause a lot of difficult emotions. These are things we may think of as "part of life" without realizing the true impact it's causing on our lives.

Acute trauma vs. chronic trauma

Another way trauma is divided into categories is based on the frequency in which it happens.

Acute trauma includes situations or events that are one-time occurrences. You were in a horrible car accident. You lost your mother at a young age. Or you lost everything you own in a house fire. It was something that happened one time and was done but had a significant impact on your life.

Chronic trauma, on the other hand, includes repeated events. You are in an ongoing abusive relationship. You were the victim of bullying throughout high school. You struggle to make ends meet month and month and live with financial stress daily. Chronic trauma is something you experience over and over again.

Signs of trauma

As you can see from the different types of trauma above, learning to identify it in your life isn't always cut and dry. You may experience emotional and psychological symptoms, and you may experience physical symptoms. These can include things like:

• Guilt, shame, self-blame

• Feeling sad and hopeless

• Feeling numb or disconnected

• Difficulty concentrating

• Muscle tension or chronic pain

• Nightmares or insomnia

• Agitation and irritability

The Impact of Trauma on Your Life

In addition to the list above, there are many different ways trauma can impact you and show up in your daily life.

Trauma affects your level of executive functioning

Executive functioning and self-regulation can be defined as "mental processes that enable us to plan, focus attention, remember instructions, and juggle multiple tasks successfully." Unfortunately, experiencing trauma often shuts down your brain's ability to process in this way.

This is where "fight, flight, freeze, fawn, or flop" comes into play.

• Fight is our instinct to defend ourselves when in danger.

• Flight allows us to escape danger.

• Freeze is also known as reactive immobility. Your body remains still while determining the next best move, generally fight or flight.

• Fawn occurs when your survival in a situation depends on your ability to appease an aggressor. This often occurs in cases of abuse or sexual trauma.

• Flop results in losing consciousness or control of your body functions.

These responses are how our bodies are designed to react for survival. They aren't something you think about or choose to do; they are automatic responses. The ability to respond in this way is essential in the moment for protection. Still, you may continue to struggle to reconnect with your executive functioning due to trauma. This leads to struggles with planning and carrying out plans, regulating emotions, managing behaviors, and exploring creativity.

Trauma can cause emotional numbing

Emotional numbing can persist after trauma as a coping mechanism. It helps prevent you from feeling the depth of what has happened, which can protect you from any emotional fluctuations that might feel unsafe but also impacts your ability to feel anything else.

Trauma can lead to you gaslighting yourself

Trauma can lead to long-lasting impacts such as self-blame and self-doubt. When these set it, they can cause you to minimize your experiences and wonder if they really happened the way you remember. As a result, you may find yourself thinking, "Maybe I'm crazy for feeling or thinking XYZ."

Trauma can cause you to not feel your emotions

This is similar to emotional numbing but slightly different. You're able to recognize your emotions yet still not feel them. This allows distancing and ignoring the experience of your feelings related to trauma or what you've experienced since the trauma.

Trauma can cause a feeling of hypervigilance

Many people who have experienced trauma find themselves extremely attuned to others’ emotions (real and perceived). This can happen because the brain blames itself for not preventing the past trauma and mistakenly believes that if it just pays closer attention, it can prevent the next traumatic event. This can lead to you constantly wondering if people are mad at you and obsessing over your interactions long after you’ve exited a social situation.

Trauma can cause a sense of foreshortened future

One of the common results of trauma is living with a sense that you won't live long. This belief can vary in intensity levels. Some people experience it as a mild feeling, and others live with an intense fear that they won't survive long. This removes the sense of safety from their daily lives.

Treatment for trauma

Whether you've experienced Big T, little t, acute, or chronic trauma, there is help available. Therapy can help you address the trauma you've experienced and learn to process the feelings and emotions you're experiencing as a result.

But what if you're not sure if trauma is impacting you or not? This is where a therapist specializing in trauma-informed care can help.

What is Trauma-Informed Therapy?

Trauma-informed therapy helps us focus on "what happened to us" instead of "what is wrong with us." It considers that all of our life situations play a role in our health and wellness, so understanding our past and present is critical when receiving help.

A trauma-informed therapist will work with you to tailor the treatment process and interventions to your specific situation and needs. They will get to know your history and triggers and take that into account during your sessions. This includes any intergenerational trauma that exists.

The following areas are key parts of trauma-informed therapy:

• Safety - Your therapist will take steps to help you feel safe both physically and emotionally during your sessions.

• Collaboration - You are encouraged to play an active role in your therapy and treatment options. A trauma-informed therapist will help educate you on your options so you can make the best decisions for yourself.

• Transparency - You can expect your therapist to be open and honest with you. This may include your therapist explaining why they are responding in a specific way, or encouraging you to practice responding to them in a particular way, in order to model what challenging conversations might look like outside of the therapy room.

• Competency - A trauma-informed therapist works to stay up-to-date on the latest research and practices to help clients who have experienced trauma in their lives. Awareness of cultural considerations is also a focus.

Finding help for past trauma

If you’ve experienced trauma, be gentle and kind to yourself. It’s common for people to turn to self blame and doubt. If you’re experiencing this, start to focus on shifting towards using positive self talk and reframing your thoughts. Allow yourself space to feel your emotions in a nonjudgmental way.

If you're looking for help recovering from past or present trauma, our skilled online therapists are ready to work with you on your journey. You can schedule an appointment with the New York City Psychotherapy Collective today to be matched with the therapist who is right for you.

Follow the steps below to get started:

• Click here to share some information about you so that we can match you with the perfect therapist for your needs.

• Have a low-pressure, 20-minute call with your therapist to make sure they are the right fit.

• Schedule your first session and start on your journey to feeling better right away.

We offer specialized services for related issues like Anxiety, Depression, LGBTQ Affirming Therapy, and Therapy Specifically for Young Adults. We can help you feel less overwhelmed, more relaxed, and more like the self you want to be.

Contact us here to get started today!